Solas na geali feur: dark light of the moon
by jennaravenrose
Summary: new moon with my version of Bella from my Fairie fire story.
1. Chapter 1

`Solas na gealai fuar

Cold light of the moon

Author's note: This is my version of New Moon with my version of Bella from my Fairie fire story.

She pushed her way through the undergrowth and into what looked like their meadow. She heard a giggle and started walking towards it. Sitting in the grass with his back to her was Edward. He was leaning down and talking to someone laying in the grass. I frowned and an irrational part of me felt a bit jealous. Who was Edward in our meadow with, other than me?

I moved closer to the happy couple with the intent to find out. As I got closer the woman flung her arms around Edward's neck and he laughed allowing her to draw him into a kiss. I stopped in shock when I spotted the bracelet adorning her wrist.

A bracelet that looked identical to mine. I lifted my arm to compare them for a second, before I got a good look at the hand it was attached to. It was withered and wrinkled just like an old woman's. I swallowed a lump of fear and moved forward, I now had to see who was on the other end of that wrist.

Edward was oblivious to my presence so I was able to stand right next to them and look down. What I saw took the breath from my lungs and left a cold lump of fear in my stomach.

It was me, Edward was cuddling with an older version of me. He was acting as if nothing had changed in our relationship and even called me spider monkey when he lifted me onto his back. I stared in shock because I looked about eighty with white hair and withered limbs.

Edward still looked like a teenager but he was treating the older me as if we were still dating. I stared in shock as he took off at a run, then I woke up screaming.

I was breathing heavily, and clutching my blankets in a death grip that made my knuckles white. On reflex I checked my wrist for wrinkles and age spots then sighed in relief when I found none.

Something hit my window and because I was still hyped from the dream I jumped and let out a short scream. I turned towards it and found a concerned looking Edward sitting in my tree.

I dropped the wards on my window, so he could enter my room and he smoothly jumped through my window. He glanced me over and I knew he was going to ask about the flushed skin and heavy breathing so I beat him to it.

"Nightmare, what are you doing here?" I said

He broke into that lopsided grin, which usually meant he was going to try and talk me into something I most likely would never agree to, unless he dazzled me.

Something that I was steadily learning how to resist thanks to my father Monticello. He was staring at me trying to gauge my reaction, which I knew he found frustrating, because he couldn't just read my mind like he could anyone else. I found it absurdly gratifying that I could stymie him like that.

"I need an excuse to see my girlfriend on her birthday?" said Edward

I groaned, I had hoped he had forgotten the date. I certainly wished that I could. I pulled my legs out from under my blankets.

"I don't celebrate my birthday" I said

He snorted

"Still going to wish you a happy birthday" said Edward

He bent down to kiss me. I snorted and avoided the move

"I don't see why not, your birthday is definitely something to celebrate" said Edward

It was a sweet sentiment but I was far from feeling sentimental about this day. That dream had helped remind me of another inescapable fact about my birthday, the fact that I am getting older, while Edward would forever remain the same. The image of an older me flashed through my mind and I shuddered.

"But my aging is not" I said

He frowned at my response. He opened his mouth to spout all of the usual nonsense about loving me no matter what and age being only a number, so I cut him off by climbing out of bed.

He was instantly out the window, the only proof of his presence was the slight shift of the curtains in the breeze. One thing I could always count on with Edward, nineteenth century ideals or as Emmett put it prude like behavior.

I closed the window reinstated my wards and walked to my dresser. Pulled out some undergarments and laid them on the bed. I had already slept past the point when I could squeeze a shower in so I opted to simply get dressed.

I opened my closet and looked over my clothes. Since Alice came into my life, my clothing had gotten steadily brighter in coloring than I was used to. I think she was trying to match my colors to Edward's preferred palette. Something I noticed she did with the other Cullen's, with the exception of Carlisle, who seemed to be the only one with a more personal style.

I did however agree with her about the ugly nerd sweaters and was even willing to help her pilfer and dispose of the more horrifying ones in Carlisle's wardrobe. Just say no to the sweater vest was a campaign I could definitely get behind.

I preferred dark colors as a rule, but would occasionally choose something cheerful if the mood struck me. Alice thought it funny that I dressed closer to the more stereotypical vampire look than her.

Today the mood was morose so I opted for black on black. I pulled out a long sleeved hoody with a sugar skull emblazoned on the front and my black skinny jeans. I pulled them on and grabbed my biker boots, tugged them on and grabbed my purse.

I headed downstairs grabbed a travel mug filled it with my morning savior, coffee. Added cream and sugar and a grabbed a pop tart, then headed for my truck.

Charlie was reading the morning paper and sitting at the kitchen table which was unusual because he normally left before I did. I kissed him on the cheek, as I passed him to get my book bag.

"Wow senior year, how'd you get so old so fast?" said Charlie

I snorted at him certain he was teasing.

"I didn't, I'm not that old, yet" I said

He gave me an appraising look

"Well I don't know, pretty soon you'll be using a senior discount, is that a grey hair?" said Charlie

I froze he was kidding right? Nope he looked serious. I rushed to the hallway mirror

"No, no way" I exclaimed, as I searched my head. Until I heard Charlie's laughter from the doorway. I turned to glare at him that was just cruel Charlie.

I can't believe I fell for that

"Happy birthday" said Charlie

"Ooh, that was low old man, very funny har har" I said, in return.

He was still laughing as I glared at him.

I didn't care if today was my birthday or if Edward thought it was some sort of cause to celebrate. I did not feel the same way.

"Here, I got you a present, I know you said not to, but I saw it and couldn't resist" said Charlie

I groaned but accepted the small package and opened it. Inside was a beautiful scarf with tiny metallic moons covering it, wrapped inside of it was a small tube that looked like lipstick.

I raised my eyebrow at him in confusion. Charlie knew nothing of make-up, so I hoped he didn't just give me some hideous shade of red that I would never wear.

"It's a lipstick Taser, thought it might come in handy if that Cullen kid gets any ideas" said Charlie

I chuckled, a Taser wasn't likely to stop him but the sentiment was nice. Charlie knew I could blow stuff up but I could understand him wanting to keep that ability hushed up.

I trusted Edward to a point but it was obvious Charlie did not feel the same way. I smirked and tucked it into the inside pocket of my jacket.

"Thanks dad" I said and kissed him on the cheek.

I flung my bag over my shoulder grabbed my half eaten pop tart and travel mug and headed for the door, giving my dad a wave goodbye as I walked out the door.

Ever since I was little my birthdays had always been a disaster one that often ended in bloodshed, thanks to Monticello. I truly didn't want to be reminded of that fact.

I climbed into my cab and started my engine, secretly glad Edward wasn't there to give me a ride to school. I liked my truck, despite the fact it didn't go very fast, and was made mostly out of cold iron. It was still mine, and I felt oddly secure in its cab.

I drove down the street and parked in the school parking lot. Edward and his siblings were nowhere to be seen yet, so I walked toward the front stairs until I spotted a familiar bike. I froze and looked around for him, frowning when I couldn't immediately see him.

"You're skills are slipping, I could have killed you three times already" said Monticello

The voice came from behind me so I turned towards it, realized at the last minute that he must be projecting and turned in the opposite direction.

The air by the tree shimmered and suddenly he was leaning against it where he hadn't been there before. I nodded in his direction. We had not progressed to the familiar stage as of yet, so I opted to address him the same as I always had.

"Monticello" I said

He smirked at me because he had caught me off guard and I knew that. It was a point in his favor that I was unhappy about him getting.

"What are you doing here?" I said

He chuckled darkly and I knew I had given him another point simply by asking that question. He sauntered over to me and laid a hand on my shoulder.

"I simply wanted to wish you a happy birthday, don't worry I have forgone the party favors this time" said Monticello

I narrowed my eyes at him and he chuckled.

"You took precautions I hope" said Monticello "yeah" I said

My voice indicating how I felt about that.

"It is for the best" said Monticello

I knew he was right. I hoped I could somehow avoid what the seer had shown me, by simply avoiding the party, but I doubted it would be that easy.

"I know" I said

He nodded towards the parking lot and I glanced slightly in that direction in time to see Edward pull into the lot. He glared at Monticello and quickly parked his car.

"Good luck" said Monticello

Then in a rare show of affection he kissed my cheek then vanished. Edward was by my side an instant too late.

"What did he want?" said Edward

He sounded angry so I turned to him and appraised him for a second.

"Merely to wish me a happy birthday" I said

Edward snorted.

"I thought birthday well-wishing was strictly off limits" said Edward

He sounded slightly miffed, so I simply shook my head in exasperation.

"It still is" I said and started up the stairs. A squealing Alice barred my path.

"Ooh! You're going to look so good in it, see you at seven it will give you time to change" said Alice

She looked my current ensemble up and down and rolled her eyes. I opened my mouth to say I wasn't going, when I felt a wave of calm right before Edward kissed me. I bit my bottom lip when he did it. He backed off suddenly but not before I had felt his tongue slide over the small cut and lap up the tiny drop of blood. Someone cleared their voice behind us.

"He wants to talk to you, see you inside" said Edward

His eyes had darkened and Jake was glaring at him as he left.

"Jacob, hello biceps somebody's been hitting the weights, you know steroids are bad for you" I said he chuckled

"Bella, you know it wouldn't seem so drastic if we hung out more" said Jacob

I sighed because I knew what he was implying and I didn't want to get into that right now.

"Or if I wore heels, sorry going from looking you in the eye to looking at…err never mind" I said

He grinned in response and ignored that I had redirected that conversation. It was bad enough I had the Cullen's, school, work and Monticello vying for my time. I didn't need to add a testosterone fueled feud to the list as well.

"You could always change schools and hang out with us pale faces" I said

Jake laughed some

"No thanks I prefer the reservation school more exclusive, they let any ole riff raff in here" said Jake

He looked at Edward who was hanging out rather close to us almost as if he didn't trust Jake.

I playfully smacked his arm and noted the serious muscle tone he had under that t shirt that was hugging his... oh damn focus Bella focus.

"I go here, dip shit" I said

Edward chuckled at my response

"Well present company excluded of course" said Jake

"So what are you doing down there…here?" I said

I had unconsciously looked down and was now blushing when I realized where I had just looked

"Ah, just picking up a part for my bike" said Jake

He chuckled and gave me an appraising look, Edward growled behind us so I could guess what Jake was thinking.

I nodded in appreciation toward said vehicle, a pieced together number that looked like most of its parts came out of a junk yard

"Is it fast?" I said

Jake shook his head no.

"Its descent or at least it will be once I install this part" said Jake

He held up a box that looked like it said carburetor on the side.

Jake looked nervous for some reason and I could guess it had to do with Edward watching him so closely. I noticed quite a few of the male classmates reacted this way around Edward. I assumed it was the vampire thing and paid it no heed. I raised my eyebrow at him because I sensed he wanted to say more.

"That and I wanted to wish you a happy birthday and give you this "said Jake

He held up a dreamcatcher that looked handmade. She heard Edward snort behind her.

"It's a dreamcatcher, I saw it and thought of you. It catches bad dreams supposedly" said Jake

Oddly, I felt it was the perfect gift especially after last night, even if Edward was less than impressed. "Wow thanks it's...perfect" I said

The bell rang and I gave Jake an apologetic look. He waved it off.

"It's okay I'll see you tonight then" said Jake "actually she'll be at my house" said Edward

Jake narrowed his eyes at Edward and Edward smirked in response. I glared at Edward because I hadn't agreed to go to the party at all.

"Possibly, it depends on if Charlie lets me go, tonight is a school night after all" I said

Jake smirked in response and then leaned down to steal a quick kiss before walking off in the direction of a small patched together bike. Edward sneered at his ride as Jake pulled away and muttered something about rats under his breath.

I ignored him and walked into the school only to find some of the Cullen's waiting for us. Most notably Jasper, I wondered how long he had been standing there and if he had heard any of my conversation with Monticello.

As if he knew what I was thinking about, he turned towards me and smiled. I grinned back at him nervously and I felt the nervousness dissipate, I narrowed my eyes at him and it stopped. Edward walked in and wrapped his arm around my waist. "So why does Jake get to wish you a happy birthday and give you a present, when I am forbidden from doing so?" said Edward

I chuckled because he sounded so petulant that it was funny.

"I hardly ever see Jake anymore and he knows how I feel about parties, besides I feel weird accepting gifts from you, when I can't give you anything back" I said he snorted

"you know he spent a week searching for the perfect dreamcatcher for you" said Edward

He said it with a sneer so I elbowed him, the jealousy I could do without.

"If you don't like this thoughts stop reading them" I said

Edward frowned at me.

"I wish I could" said Edward

I shook my head and walked through the door and into the next building.

"I need to teach you how to shield" I muttered

I would never get used to schools with more than one story I was seriously missing phoenix and its spread out campus. Edward gave me a puzzled look in response.

"Look I don't need any gifts, I have all I ever wanted right here" I said

Okay so I was laying it on a bit thick but a glamour would allow you to say the stupidest most outlandish drivel and the other party would believe it.

I know it was a human custom to give gifts on this day but I was raised that you gave gifts in return as well. I still felt odd going over to the Cullen's without bringing a guest gift. It just wasn't the way I was taught.

"Bella, you give me everything just by breathing but I still want to celebrate just what you mean to me" said Edward

He put his arm around my shoulders and tried to hug me. I rolled my eyes in response. He nodded at jasper and I got the impression they were having a silent conversation. I sighed elbowed Edward slightly to get free of his arm and walked into the building ahead of them both. Jasper smirked at my retreating back.

"See you tonight Bella" said Jasper

Then he headed in the direction of his first class while I glared at his retreating back. Edward chuckled and ushered me toward my first class and left me at the door. I walked calmly to my seat and sat down. Lauren stared at me the whole time I was walking to my seat until Angela gave her an answering glare and she backed off.

"Hey how's it going?" said Angela

I truthfully hadn't seen Angela as much as I wanted to lately, between my vampire family and Monticello's side of the family, I got precious few moments to myself or ones I could spend with the humans in my life. It irritated me because I truthfully enjoyed her company. The door opened again and in walked Emmett. Since what happened last year Edward had insisted that our schedules be arranged so that I had a Cullen in each class. It was irritating but at least Emmett was fun to be around. He sat down right in front of me and grinned

"Hey bells happy..."said Emmett

"Don't say it" I said

Interrupting what he was going to say. He gave me that goofy lopsided grin of his.

"Why not?" said Emmett

I groaned because now Jessica was paying attention to the conversation.

"Later" I hissed

Just as the teacher walked in. I ignored him for the rest of the class because I was genuinely trying to focus on my school work, because my grades had been suffering due to my inattention. I started shoving my notes back in my bag right before the bell rang.

Angela looked like she wanted to walk with me, but Emmett clearly made her nervous and she scurried away at his approach. Jessica walked out the door and I turned to find a grinning Emmett right next to me.

"So?"he said

"They were all horrible now stop asking" I responded

Before heading for the door. The next class had Rose in it so I was pretty much assured of some peace, since the woman still seemed to hate me for some reason. She also seemed to be the only one not affected by my glamor, which I was certain had a lot to do with that hate.

Even after consulting with Monticello and My grandmother Anais, I still had no way to break that spell over them, unless I wanted to leave the west coast altogether. Something I truly did not want to do.

I sat down and pulled out my economics book and re read the last chapter we covered, just in case Mr. Graham gave a pop quiz.

Rose true to form ignored my presence for the entire class which was a welcome relief, to what felt like a cross between stalking and hovering, that all of the others were doing now. The bell rang and I shoved my things into my bag next was English class which I was dreading.

Not because we were going over sentence structure but rather because we were supposed to watch Romeo and Juliet. I truthfully never cared for the story and I did not want it giving Edward any stupid ideas.


	2. Chapter 2

Solas2

Several students were openly sobbing in the front row and I thought they were pathetic. Didn't any of them read the source material?

Mr. Krat had called it one of the great tragedies after all, that should have clued them in, that this story did not contain a happy ending. Edward made a snorting noise next to me and I turned toward him.

"I've never had much patience with Romeo, mistake after mistake could he have destroyed his own happiness anymore?" said Edward

I nodded yes in response.

"He could have insisted on cremation" I responded

Edward gave me an incredulous and horrified look, which a couple of students mirrored.

"it's so romantic" one of the other students murmured from the front row.

I wanted to yell at her that no it wasn't.

"No its not" I said softly instead

Edward was the only one who heard me.

"You don't think forbidden love is romantic?" said Edward

His lips curling in amusement.

"Not when it leads to stupidity" I responded.

Edward nodded in understanding

"It's so easy for a human, a little poison, a dagger through the heart…"said Edward

"Getting hit by a truck, falling down a flight of stairs" I finished Edward frowned at me and I almost laughed at him.

"They were fifteen, they had barely begun to live and I doubt they really knew what love was, let alone felt it that deeply" I said

Edward was still frowning at me.

"What makes you say that?" said Edward

I snorted at him and shook my head, for an undead monster my boyfriend sure had some foolishly romantic notions.

"Come on Edward they talked maybe three times and from that he was madly in love with her. It takes more than a few encounters to form a bond like that" I said

Edward looked vaguely disappointed to me, sorry buddy but your gonna have to work harder than that.

"So there is nothing you like about the story?" said Edward

I shook my head no and laughed, unfortunately it was just as Juliet plunged a dagger into her heart on screen. Several classmates looked at me like I was mental and I inwardly groaned.

"The poetry" I said softly

He raised one elegant eyebrow at me, so I spun out one of my favorite quotes.

"These violent delights have violent ends and in this triumph die, like fire and powder when as they kiss consume" I said

The look Edward gave me was unreadable but I could guess the direction of his thoughts. Once again he was feeling guilty for the James incident, man this guy was so emo.

Once again I wished Carlisle had been able to wait before changing Edward. At least until he was a little bit more mature. "I hate being celebrated" I said

He leaned in so only I could hear him.

"Come on Bella the last time we celebrated a birthday was when Bing Crosby was topping the charts" said Edward

The lights came back on and I groaned like everyone else because I was momentarily blinded by the change of light. Mr. Krat was going down the row between the desks and laying a sheet of paper on each occupied desk.

I groaned along with the rest, when I realized it was a pop quiz on the movie we had just watched. He set one in front of me then in front of Edward before going down the next row. Once they were all passed out Mr. Krat gave the signal to begin and I flipped over the page. It was absurdly easy until it hit the essay section. I ended up filling the box and the other side of the page before I turned it in.

The bell rang and Edward walked me to my next class, ceramics. Alice was there already and Jasper was kissing her in the doorway as we approached. Jasper pulled back and smirked at me.

"Bella" said Jasper

He nodded in my direction so I nodded back and moved past them into the room. Edward gave me a disappointed look when I wouldn't allow him a kiss goodbye as well. I had been limiting our physical contact lately, because both Anais and Monticello said the glamour was increased by physical contact, and he clearly had it bad enough.

My only concern was how badly I had affected the rest of the clan as well, because so far I had yet to break the connection and it was starting to scare me. Edward would never be able to survive in the court and I wasn't about to back away from my obligations to my house, not unless I wanted to die a very painful death.

Anais simply would not take the rejection well and she could very well end up killing everyone who had ever come in contact with me for the insult, there was a rumor that she had done so before, even going so far as to kill everyone who had been alongside the person in the hospital nursery. It made me shudder just to think about it.

I took my seat and set up my supplies maybe this time it would actually look like a vase instead of a lump that looks like a five year old was attempting to make a cup. Alice was sitting next to her and already what she was working on looked the way it should. For a second I thought about drying out the clay Alice was working with, then I shoved the jealousy aside. Alice was my pseudo sister and she couldn't help being perfect it was what vampires did after all. Alice kept glancing at her as she worked and it was beginning to get irritating.

"You're wrong" said Alice

I gave her a confused look because she had essentially lost me. "Huh?" was my brilliant answer

She shook her head and said softly at vampire speed

"You'll see" said Alice

I frowned and added more water to my clay only to discover I had added too much and my project was now mud. I groaned and scraped off the wheel to start over and the bell rang. I swore softly and cleaned up my mess.

I had lunch next so I was in no hurry to join the others. I had just finished shoving my things back into the bins and turned around. Jasper was already there and Alice was hugging him closely, as if she was afraid to lose him for some reason.

Jasper was frowning because he must be picking up some serious angst and had no idea why. I gathered my things, ignored jaspers pleading look and walked out of the door. I knew what Alice was seeing but there was no way I could do as she asked.

I needed to know if what Edward was feeling was love or something else. She had obviously focused on that part of the vision and I was secretly glad I had chosen to consult a seer of my own.

Now all I had to do was either avoid my birthday party or face down a room full of hungry vampires. I glance back at Alice and Jasper, maybe a room full of hungry vampires wouldn't be so bad. Who knows if one of them managed to succeed getting through my shield maybe I would get what I really wanted for my birthday, to be changed, I could always help mitigate the damage later.

I stopped in the doorway.

"You guys coming?" I said

Alice looked up from jaspers shirt and nodded yes, at jaspers worried look she smiled in what was supposed to be a reassuring manner and followed me out. I could hear him asking what was wrong and her answer at vampire speed, but I couldn't respond without giving away that I could hear them.

My next class had Emmett and jasper in it and the last one had Edward in it again then I was free for the rest of the day since I had an abbreviated schedule for my senior year thanks to phoenix having different graduation requirements.

I had already met some of my credit requirements. Edward and the others were still stuck with a full schedule which meant I could leave campus before they did. I was hoping today it gave me enough of a head start to avoid the Cullen's and whatever party plans Alice had concocted.

Jasper walked in followed by Emmett and they sat down near me.

"Bella, why is my …Alice so upset?" said Jasper

I frowned and wished I could tell him now that I didn't blame him or that I forgave him but that would only confuse him. In the end I decided to give him a small tidbit of information.

The other students were filing in so I answered him as best I could, without giving away what she could do.

"Alice found out about an upcoming trip and is upset that I'm going, without Edward" I said.

"Why would you go without Edward?" said Emmett

He gave me a goofy grin as if he thought the idea was silly.

"Later" I said.

He gave me a confused look but neither of them could really question me further because Jessica was taking her seat right in front of us. I knew I was going to have to explain that but I was hoping if the events of the party did not happen then her vision would hopefully change.

"I see" Jasper responded

Which meant he understood that was all I was able to give him right now. I was able to stave off any further questions until later that night because even I had no idea what Alice was seeing, so I was going off what my seer had said.

I faked my way through the last few classes trying hard to not give my apprehension away lest Jasper or Alice pick up on it. As I walked toward my truck I was in high spirits thinking I had finally beat the pixie at her own game. That was until I saw the package sitting in the driver's seat.

I groaned out loud and pulled open my door. I didn't bother opening it because I could guess it was clothes. I quickly started my truck and headed back to my house. If I showered and dressed quickly enough I could be out at La Push before they were out of class.

I parked my truck in the driveway, left the bag on the seat and rushed for my front door. I was in the house and up the stairs at twice my normal speed. I grabbed my shower bag and rushed for the shower.

I washed quickly and pulled my clothes back on while I was still wet. I scribbled a note for Charlie on the post it pad and rushed for my truck. I found Alice waiting in my driveway for me.

"Alice what are you..."I said

"Nice try Bella but it's not like this is the first time I've ditched class" said Alice

She gave me a level look and grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards her car.

"Alice what are you doing we have four hours before the party" I said

Hoping she would relent long enough to slip free of her grasp. She smirked and I knew I was doomed.

"Great that gives me time to do your makeup and tame this hair" said Alice

I groaned and looked around for another Cullen in a mute appeal for help. Alice chuckled and started walking up my front walk, so reluctantly I followed her. I wondered why she was here alone and could only guess that she wanted to talk about what she envisioned. I wasn't sure if I should reassure her or tell her to brace for the worst. I stepped through the front door and frowned, where did Alice go?

"Alice?" I said

"Up here silly" said Alice

I sighed and climbed the stairs Alice was digging through my hair supplies.

"Aargh don't you have anything that doesn't look like it belongs to a little girl or a Goth kid?" said Alice

I frowned at the back of her head. I bit back the urge to defend my style and instead addressed why she was here ahead of everyone else.

"What did you see?" I said

Alice froze mid dig in a basket full of hair ties and clips I kept on my dresser.

"You, walking away and how devastating it was to my brother" said Alice

She turned to look at me with a pleading look.

"I think of you as a sister already Bella. what you have with Edward is meant to be, he loves you I know he does and so do you. Please do not do that to him, to us" said Alice

I met her eyes and saw the fear reflected there as well as the realization that she couldn't really stop this from happening. I sighed and looked at my feet.

"Alice I can't really promise that, because yeah I do have my doubts, but I can promise you that whatever actions I take it is, because I do love you all" I said in my most sincere tone.

She stopped what she was doing tilted her head sideways and stared at me. A second later I was wrapped in a bone crushing hug that left me gasping for air.

"Oh Bella I'm sorry I ever doubted you, we love you too sweetheart, now let's tame that hair of yours" said Alice

She must have looked ahead just a little bit and whatever it showed her convinced her that Edward and I would be fine. I just hoped I had fooled her enough to stop looking. I hadn't really been lying to her, everything I intended to do would be because I cared about them. I just hoped one day they would understand and hopefully forgive me. For the next few hours I endured Alice's beauty treatments as she pulled sprayed and used various hot devices on my poor hair. I sat quietly allowing her to do what she wanted for once. I was too focused on what was coming to care.


	3. Chapter 3

Solas 3

By the time she announced that she was done Edward was waiting for them in her driveway.

"All finished, I'll have to put the makeup on at our house. You don't have enough supplies here" said Alice

I gave her a horrified look just what was she planning on doing to my face that would require more than a baskets worth of supplies?

"You girls ready yet?" said Edward

"Yep, let's get her to the party" said Alice

She skipped towards the door and I reluctantly followed them both down the stairs. I tripped on the third stair and Edward caught me before I could tumble down them. I heard him mutter something about klutzes before he led me to his car. Alice climbed behind the wheel of hers and we were off. Edward was in the lead and Alice was following us.

"Sorry about that, I should have warned you" said Edward

He reached for my hand and because I was nervous I let him hold it. The action seemed to relax him and he smiled at me. He momentarily dazzled me again so I didn't notice the ribbons around the trees until we pulled up to the house. I groaned when I saw all the candles and lights. Edward gave me an apologetic look.

"Sorry, I'll defend you from most things, but not my sister" said Edward

I shook my head and climbed out of the car.

"Coward" I muttered as I met the advancing Alice.

She led me into the house and up the stairs. I noted she was carrying the gift bag they had left in my truck in one hand. She practically skipped up the stairs and I followed at a more human pace. I glanced at the room and frowned, from the vision Alice had gone all out with the decorations yet the room looked as it always had.

I shook my head and walked into Alice's room. She zipped into her bathroom and came out carrying a small suitcase. I gave her a horrified look when she opened it and I could see it was filled to the brim with make-up, all professional grade stuff. Was she planning to paint my face or try out for face –off?

She motioned for me to sit and began sorting through foundations holding them against my face to compare the color. With a groan I sat down at her vanity chair and let Alice paint my face as if I was a canvas.

"eh gads girl you are so pale" said Alice

I gave her an incredulous look.

"well you are, don't look at me like that. You need some sun, especially when I can match my foundation to your skin" said Alice

I chuckled

"perhaps I should just go Goth, I've already got the moody vampire boyfriend" I said

"I heard that" said Edward from the hall.

"good because this is all your fault" I muttered because Alice had an eyeliner pencil next to my eye and I was afraid to even blink while it was there.

When she was done she had me put on the dress, which was in the package and tried to get me into a pair of heels. I stubbornly refused and she compromised, sort of. They still had a heel just not one that resembled stilts.

The only reason I agreed to the dress was because it was dark in color and Esme picked it out. As soon as she was done with a squeal and an exclamation on how beautiful I looked, she led me back to the stairway.

I froze in shock the room was decorated in ribbons and candles. There was a huge wedding sized cake in one corner and a pile of fine china on a table next to a punch bowl. A pile of gifts covered one table and the Cullen's were all dressed up like they were going out for the evening.

On reflex I looked to the back window because quite frankly I was waiting for something to crash the party. I had stopped and was staring in shock until Emmett nudged Edward and I caught the movement but not before I noticed Carlisle look out the back window too.

"So dating an older woman...hot" said Emmett

I chuckled because Edward was well over a hundred he had told me that himself. Edward gave him an incredulous look then shook his head with a snorting sound. Carlisle and Esme came towards me as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Sorry about this we tried to rein Alice in" said Carlisle

Esme made a scoffing noise and hugged me.

"As if that were even possible" said Esme

She was eyeing my ensemble then suddenly stepped back and threaded her hand into Carlisle's. I caught the territorial look in her eyes and nodded in understanding. This was her home turf and Carlisle was hers.

She visibly relaxed and smiled at me, releasing some of the tension from the room. Alice had gone straight for the gifts and was skipping back. The guys had moved back to let the girls have their space, with Jasper being the furthest away and I noted everyone was in the same place as the vision. Esme had found a camera somewhere and snapped a photo of me as Alice handed me the first gift.

"you're up first Rosalie" said Alice

I had barely started to open it when Rosalie told me it was a necklace and that Alice picked it out. Right after she blinded us both with a camera flash. Rose pined her with a glare and Alice sheepishly tucked the camera away.

Rose sounded less than enthused to be here and I didn't blame her. Did the pixie never let anyone make their own choices? I lowered the gift slightly and Alice dragged Edward to stand beside me.

"Okay, show me the love you two" said Alice

Edward grinned but I just gave her a sad and slightly irritated look. I am sure it will make a great photo, not. Alice handed me another box and I shook it because it felt empty.

"This ones from Emmett" said Alice

He gave me a sheepish grin

"Already installed it in your truck" said Emmett

I gave him a shocked look because my truck was back at my house.

"Finally a decent sound system for that piece of cra..."said Emmett

"Hey don't hate on the truck" I said

Alice skipped back over with another smaller gift in her hands.

"Here open Carlisle and Esme's gift next" said Alice

I looked over the tiny package wondering what it might be.

"just a little something to brighten your day, you've been looking a bit pale lately" said Esme

This was the gift from the vision I was sure of it. So I took extra care opening it, until my klutziness almost made me drop it and the paper sliced open my finger. I felt the blood before I saw it, raising my hand to note the heavy bleeding from such a small wound. I raised my finger to put it in my mouth and that's when all hell broke loose.

I felt the dynamic in the room shift and before I could raise my shields and cut off my scent from the rest of the house, Edward over reacted and shoved me hard into a shelf behind me. I hit the wall bounced off it and fell into the table below it, which broke under my weight sending all of that glass crashing down around me.

I felt the glass pieces as they sliced into my flesh, absently I lamented the destruction of such a beautiful display. Some of the glass had lodged itself in my arm and my thighs. I knew I should have protested the dress more firmly at least jeans would afforded me some sort of protection.

The telltale drip told me once again that I was bleeding heavily. I looked up from my position on the floor to the faces of seven ravenous vampire.

Jasper was trying everything he could think of to get out of Emmett's arms and was actually succeeding in dragging him partially.

Emmett was staring at me in almost a trancelike fashion his grip slowly slackening as he licked his lips. I stared in dumbfounded shock for just a few seconds because all of them had black eyes including Carlisle.

Right now all of them went from my loving family to the monsters they truly were. In that instant Jasper managed to break free and Edward tried to stop him, Edward was thrown into the piano for his efforts, which shattered under the impact.

Jasper dodged around Carlisle, who I wasn't sure if he was trying to protect me, or get to me as well. Jasper shoved Esme and Alice out of the way, Rose managed to get a grip on him for just a second before he bit her for her effort.

He was loose now and charging straight for me, for a second I vaguely registered Edward's anguished scream of No! Before I did the only thing my panicked mind could think of, I flung up a reflective shield.

Jasper hit it a second after it was raised and the kinetic energy from his charge rebounded and launched him backwards through the table with the cake and out the back wall. The sound of crashing trees, rocks and a final splash hailed his exit from the house.

I turned to regard the others and found them still looking quite ravenous so I increased the strength of the shield. I felt dizzy for some reason and sat back on my haunches and tried to calm my racing heart.

I looked up and found the others staring at me in shock, their eyes were still black. Right now my only concern was Edward, because as his singer my blood was irresistible to him, so I really needed him to leave before I bled to death. He stubbornly refused to leave however and rested his hand on the shield

"Bella?" said Edward

I shook my head no.

"Go check on Jasper" I said as I rested my head against the wall.

"Bell..."said Edward

"GO!" I ordered putting energy behind the order just so he would listen to me. He backed away looking hurt and confused. "Edward go, check on your brother, the rest of you out" said Carlisle his tone was commanding and for a moment it shocked me because I had never heard anything but polite tones from him.

The others seemed to shake themselves free from the daze they were in and fled the room as he requested or rather ordered. The room was now empty of everyone but us.

"It's all right Bella you can lower this now, no one is going to hurt you sweet heart" said Carlisle

He had lowered himself down so he was eye level with me and was resting one hand on my shield. I met his eyes through the barrier saw that they were still black as night and then analyzed his sweet tones. Was he trying to enchant me? Part of me wondered.

I could feel my head nodding off and wondered if I had nicked something serious. I heard him swear softly and it woke me back up so I glared at him.

"Bella I need you to lower this sweetheart you're bleeding quite profusely, I need to make sure you haven't nicked an artery, its okay you are safe now" said Carlisle

I met his eyes noticed their color and replied

"Your eyes are still black" I said

He looked stunned and then hurt.

"I will not hurt you, please Bella will you not trust me" said Carlisle

I instantly felt guilty for disbelieving Carlisle in any way and lowered the barrier. I watched him rock back on his heels as my scent washed over him, his eyes momentarily darkened. then he shook his head as if to clear it and knelt down next to me.

"Let me see" said Carlisle

He gently took my arm and looked it over, then brushed back the fabric of my skirt to do the same.

"It will require stitches but it looks worse than it is" said Carlisle he sighed in relief and started to rise and then froze. I looked where he was looking to find Edward staring at me with blackened eyes.

"Bella I…" said Edward

Carlisle raised his hand in Edward's direction to stop his advance.

"I told you to go outside" said Carlisle his voice had a hard edge to it that chilled me to the bone.

"I know but..." said Edward

His gaze was riveted on me or more specifically my wounds. Carlisle took a step in front of me ,every line of his body indicating that he would defend me if need be.

"Edward go, I am fine" I said

I knew now it had to be the glamour because only that would allow him to break whatever authority Carlisle had as a coven leader over him. I pointed toward the door with a blood covered hand and I watched Edward lick his lips before he bolted from the room again.

"I'm sorry Carlisle" I said

I was apologizing for once again bringing unrest to his family. Once again I had ruined something beautiful He shushed me and pulled me to my feet.

"Come I can sew these up in my office" he said

He rested his hand on the small of my back and guided me gently into his domain.


	4. Chapter 4

Solas 4

I had only been in his office once, with Edward. So I took the moment to look around the space. Carlisle opened up a bag and set several things on the desk next to him. I glanced in their direction and frowned. The tweezers and needle looked like surgical steel.

"If those are steel you can't use them" I said

I was holding my arm against myself with the more damaged hand and fingers pointing upward.

"They were but I had them coated, with silver I hope that is acceptable" said Carlisle

I still had yet to tell the Cullen's exactly what I was but after the James incident there were a few things they had to know just so they wouldn't inadvertently kill me again. I froze when he said that.

"You had them..." I said

"Coated just for you, yes. I will not have a repeat of last time if I can avoid it" said Carlisle

I knew what he was referring to and I knew he still felt guilty because of it.

"That wasn't your fault" I protested

He made a scoffing noise and set a bowl on the table next to me and turned on the desk lamp. I glanced away from him for a second and my eyes fell on the broken glass in the doorway. Their house was a shambles because of me. He must have seen the direction of my gaze because he now wore a frown.

He picked up the tweezers and began picking tiny pieces of glass out of the wound. He was so gentle I barely felt him do it. My mind drifted back to the other reason I didn't want a party.

"I never wanted a party" I said

I wanted to give him an opening so hopefully I could mitigate the damage this incident did, to only the furniture.

"It's not your fault, jasper hasn't been away from human blood as long as the rest of us have" said Carlisle

The way he said that sounded as if he were giving up on Jasper ever following their lifestyle. I had to correct that.

"Still I am sorry about all the damage. Change is hard, for any species, I don't know how you do it" I said

He frowned but kept working as he talked.

"Years and years of practice" said Carlisle

I nodded in response.

"I suppose having the support of loved ones helps as well" I said

Carlisle glanced up at me and eyed me suspiciously, as if he were trying to figure out my motives. He turned my arm to get the underside and I almost lost my balance and fell off the chair. Instead I ended up resting my hand on Carlisle's waist as he worked. I watched him as he worked and noticed that except when he talked he was holding his breath.

"Have you ever thought about just doing it the easy way?" I said

I wondered briefly what he would look like if those butterscotch irises were a ruby red instead. He looked up at me and smirked ever so slightly.

Hot, I decided, he would look incredibly hot. I shifted ever so slightly because the image of that and the feeling of taut muscles beneath my fingertips made me realize just how much those button downs were hiding. I was sure he could smell how wet he was making me and he still had to treat my leg as well. Damn Bella get ahold of yourself.

"No I knew who I wanted to be. I wanted to help people even if I am damned regardless" said Carlisle

"Even if it's something you didn't choose" I said

He looked thoughtful for a second as if he was trying to figure out my angle.

"You work with the tools you have been given" said Carlisle

I frowned I didn't subscribe to Christianity's view on supernatural species because I knew for a fact some of the were older than the religion and benign. I snorted there is no way someone like Carlisle could be damned, it just made no sense.

"Carlisle you can't be damned, you've done too much good over the years for that to be so. Besides what kind of deity condemns a person for something beyond their control" I said

He looked down and I could swear that he would be blushing if he still could. He shook his head, because he had let out a sigh when I said that and I knew he had caught the scent lingering in the air, because even I could smell it now. He gave me a wicked smirk and I swear my panties couldn't be wetter if I held them under a faucet.

Yeah he knew what he was doing to me and I swear he was enjoying it. Oh you're a wicked one Dr Cullen, I take back the damned stance because you are decidedly evil Carlisle.

He threaded the needle while he talked and I envied him the ability to multitask like that, I would have stabbed my finger for sure.

"You have always been more than... gracious about us Bella" said Carlisle

He poured some rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball and dabbed at the wound. I hissed because it stung and he apologized repeatedly before he started sewing up my flesh. I flinched and unconsciously squeezed his side. I was thinking about what Carlisle said and came to the realization that Edward was holding off my change for this foolish notion.

"Is that why he won't change me?" I said

Carlisle sighed and tied off the stitches then stepped back and lifted my leg. He frowned

"It is complicated with Edward he values your humanity greatly and..." said Carlisle

"Thinks he's damning my soul if he changes me" I said

He nodded as he pushed back my skirt, and tilted my leg towards him so my inner thigh was in view, then picked up the tweezers and began removing the few pieces of glass imbedded down there.

"Imagine the situation in reverse. If you believed as Edward does could you take away his soul?" said Carlisle.

He was staring at me as if expecting my answer.

"Only if he chose it, if he asked me to, I doubt I could deny Edward anything" I said honestly,

Which was precisely the problem I respected him but he did not respect me in the same way. Edward was willing to grow old by my side but I would be the only one aging. Something that wasn't fair to either one of us.

Carlisle met my eyes and I could see he was considering my answer. He rested his other hand on my thigh and absently traced Ethan's mark with his thumb. I knew he was going to ask about it because the curiosity must be driving him nuts.

"Who did this?" said Carlisle

He sounded slightly possessive for some reason and it worried me because it was another sign the glamour was working on him.

I sighed and wondered briefly if I should share everything that happened that evening or just tidbits. Carlisle looked up at me awaiting my answer as he poured alcohol over the wounds.

"His name was Ethan and before you freak out about it, he had no choice in the matter" I said

Carlisle gave me a confused look and began threading the needle to stich my thigh as well. My blood adorned his fingers and I wondered if I could get him to lick them off.

"What do you mean?" said Carlisle

For some reason he sounded vaguely jealous. I frowned and looked at my lap, truthfully I had been horrified by my grandmother's display but could say nothing against it for fear I would take their place.

"My grandmother's idea of dinner entertainment involves….several forms of torture. An acquaintance of hers gave them to my grandmother for the night's entertainment" I said

"Them?" said Carlisle

His eyes darkened and I could see the anger boiling up inside of him. Damn Carlisle was sexy when he was pissed.

"His mate Cassie was also there, they forced him to...perform or she would be tortured for his disobedience" I said

Carlisle's mouth dropped open in shock.

"And you…"said Carlisle

"I had no choice either until Ethan gave me the chance to invoke my rights with that mark, I got them out of there and then let them go" I said

I conveniently left out that I adopted them into my house as well.

Carlisle was staring at me in shock.

"Why did you not protest this?" said Carlisle

I grimaced

"Because you do not question your queen unless you want to die a terribly gruesome and protracted end" I said

"Your queen?" said Carlisle

I nodded yes.

"Yes queen Anais is Monticello's mother and my grandmother" I said

Carlisle frowned and I wondered if he recognized the name, it was known to the voltera after all. Carlisle looked down at my lap as if ashamed of whatever he had been about to say.

"Not everything is as it seems, Carlisle" I said

He rubbed the spot and it sent a thrill through me. He deliberately inhaled my scent and closed his eyes in bliss.

"No it is not, you are so much more than I expected isobella" said Carlisle

I shifted so both of my legs were on either side of him now. He started to stand up and move away. His glance falling on his fingers. I could see that it tempted him.

"taste it" I said

Giving the suggestion a bit of power behind it. He hesitated for a second.

"It's okay Carlisle just try it" I urged and then put just a little power behind the suggestion.

I wanted to see if I had any control over him and how much resistance I would face when I broke it.

He frowned and started to raise his fingers to his mouth as if he was unaware of what he was doing. I watched as his tongue darted out and he closed his eyes in bliss. Oh gods that was hot and I swallowed nervously. He then suddenly seemed to snap out of it and his eyes widened in shock, when he realized what he had done.

"Bella...I" said Carlisle

He stepped back and I moved my legs so he could retreat.

"It's alright Carlisle I'm not mad" I said

He looked at me and I noticed his eyes were now dark as a starless night. He seemed to be struggling to regain control but I had to know what he was feeling right now.

"As I said before much too gracious" said Carlisle

I smiled at him.

"Did you enjoy it?' I asked

He gave me a look of reproach but I plunged ahead anyway.

"That is beside the point it is something I should have never done...your...Edward's... I shouldn't have...be" said Carlisle

I ignored the statement about being Edwards the boy didn't own me and never would.

"Carlisle what shouldn't you be thinking?" I said

He groaned and crossed the room to the other side, well away from me.

"Bella... I can't… I" said Carlisle

I decided to take some pity on him and moved toward him. I rested my hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry that was cruel" I said

He gave me a confused look. So I decided to use Ethan and Cassie as an example, it was only fair that he knew what I could do. Perhaps he would even agree with my assessment and make this easier on all of us.

"What was cruel, you did nothing Bella it was I..."said Carlisle

I cut him off before he could go into the self-recrimination. "Carlisle how do you think my grandmother was able to control two vampires?" I said

He frowned at me as if he were considering my words but still was drawing a blank.

"I'm not sure, why?" said Carlisle

I moved back some and removed my hand because I was certain he would be angry about this.

"Carlisle my people can…for lack of a better word enchant others to the point they forget who they are and any survival instincts they might possess, similar to how you dazzle your prey" I said

Carlisle frowned at me as if seeing me for the first time. I went on before he could deny what I had just made him do.

"Carlisle what did you want to do to me just then?" I said

He looked away in shame and I knew he was struggling with his conscience.

"Bella… I can't… please" said Carlisle

I reached my hand up and gently touched his lips to still the protest before it was voiced. Everyone was still outside calming jasper and themselves down, it was just us and I wanted some honesty from him.

"I can't give you what you want Bella no matter how desperately I want to do so, it would only hurt Edward and Esme in the end" said Carlisle

I shifted my hand to caress his cheek, somewhat fascinated by the feel of his skin beneath my hand. He caught it and stilled it before I could slide it further down.

"I think perhaps we should get you home" said Carlisle

I nodded in understanding. The feelings were there they were just stymied behind duty and loyalty. I lowered my hand and walked towards the door.


	5. Chapter 5

Solas 5

As I walked out of the office I noticed Esme was cleaning up the pile of broken glass and blood. I turned towards the stairs intent on retrieving my purse and clothes from Alice's room. Esme didn't say anything as I walked by and I got the impression she had heard the last part of our exchange.

Carlisle didn't even follow me out but I would be willing to bet he was going to hear about that move tonight. I felt slightly guilty about that, Carlisle was a nice guy and I just hurt him for no other reason that I could.

As I passed through the room I noted the through state of destruction it was in. Edwards piano was firewood now. The cake was splattered across the wall, floor and edges of a gaping hole in one wall. The sofa was overturned and the table that contained the presents was in as bad a shape as the piano the only thing intact in the entire room was a cactus I had given to Esme last year.

I shook my head and suppressed the urge to laugh at the irony as I climbed the stairs. I numbly retrieved my purse, pulled on my jacket, switched back to my flats and left the room. As I passed each room I said a silent goodbye to their occupants, then descended the stairs and headed for the front door. It hurt more than I expected it to but reasoned that it was the glamour affecting me as well.

"Bella wait" said Esme

I turned towards the woman, she must have misinterpreted the sad look on my face, because she immediately tried to fix things.

"I am so sorry, Bella" said Esme

I nodded because truthfully I did understand.

"It's alright it's not like this was the first party that I ever had ruined" I said

At that she looked crestfallen and I didn't know what else to say to ease her pain, except maybe that I wasn't mad at Jasper.

"Oh sweetheart, Jasper didn't mean..."said Esme

I held up my hand to stop her tirade.

"I know and its okay I'm not mad at him, it's okay besides it's not like this isn't the first time somethings tried to eat me on my birthday. I'm just glad the only bloodshed this time was my own" I said

Esme looked shocked, horrified and dismayed. I turned towards the door.

"Tell the others I'll see them at school" I said

I didn't look back as I walked out the door. Someone had fetched my truck for me and I silently thanked them for it. "Bella?" said Edward

I turned barely suppressing the moan. Oh why couldn't he let me be?

"Do you want me to..."said Edward

"No I'm fine I'll see you tomorrow okay" I said

He frowned at my cold tone. I unlocked my truck and started to climb in. he must have seen my wince, because he held my door and kept me from closing it.

"Are you certain you're okay to drive I can have Esme or…"said Edward

I winced Esme might just kill me, if we are alone and honestly I just wanted to get home and forget this evening ever happened.

"I'm fine Edward ask Carlisle if you don't believe me, now do you mind" I said

He reluctantly released my door and stepped back. I started my truck gave him a short wave and turned around in his driveway. The rattling of the truck down that gravel driveway made me grit my teeth against the pain but kept me from nodding off in exhaustion.

By the time I turned onto the road my wounds were aching something fierce I was beginning to lament refusing Edwards offer because his car had way better shocks than this truck. I stopped at the stop sign a block from my house and I could have sworn I saw Edwards's car a block over.

I rolled my eyes and turned down my street, parked in my driveway and shut down my truck. I rested my head on the steering wheel briefly and fought back tears. It took me a few minutes to calm myself before I pulled myself out of my truck and stumbled for my front door. Once inside I slid off my shoes and padded my way up to my room. I literally fell face first on my bed and fell asleep, clothing and all.

Alice pov

Every way I looked at it she still ended up leaving us. I was distraught there was no way to avoid this. My brother was about to get his heart ripped out and stomped on by the only girl he had ever loved, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I groaned and Jasper rubbed my back. She walked in with Edward and they were laughing and teasing each other. I was about to shove my misgivings aside because obviously they were fine. Edward bent down to receive a kiss, the same as Jasper had and she snubbed him after acknowledging my husband's greeting.

I watched in shock as she walked away from Edward as if he didn't matter to her at all. Edward looked hurt and then confused by her behavior. In fact we all were, everyone in the family noticed Bella had become more distant with all of us, denying any physical contact whenever possible.

Jasper noticed this the same as I and said something to me about it. He knew that something was bothering me and I had half confided in him in the hope that the two of us could find a way to advert this disaster before it happened. He nodded and agreed to talk to Edward.

Again nothing changed and I wanted to scream at the girl. She took her seat next to me oblivious to my frustration. Why could she not see how much he cared about her? I worked the clay under my fingertips absently while I tried to form a plan. Then another vision struck and it left me reeling.

Yes she would leave Edward but she was reconsidering and the party would help change that but it didn't show me any more than her opening a few gifts. The horrifying part was that my Jasper was also leaving and Carlisle was asking him to go and he looked angry for some reason.

It horrified me so I hugged him close the second I saw him. I told her she was wrong but she shrugged off my worries I was frustrated and Jasper must have picked that up with his gift I because he asked me what was wrong. He even gave Bella a pleading look asking her to explain, instead she turned coldly away.

I told him briefly and was going to go into more detail when Bella interrupted me by asking if we were coming.

"What is it what did you see?" said Jasper

"The same, oh jazz I don't want to lose him or you" I said

Jasper tightened his grip on me.

"Darling you will never lose me, and we will find a way around whatever it was you saw" said Jasper

I gave him my most charming smile but I still had doubts.

"If you would like I can speak to her, I am certain she won't be able to hide anything from me" said Jasper

I nodded yes and gave him a quick kiss before he followed Bella to her next class. I watched him go, terrified that whatever Bella was about to do would destroy us all.

Jasper pov

Whatever Alice saw has her completely frazzled. I had never seen her this bad even when we were running with Bella she had been calm. Now she seemed shaken and her emotions were all over the place. They were so strong that I felt them in my class three doors down.

She tried reassuring me but I knew something was still bothering her. Bella had been acting stand offish and for lack of a better word cold toward us all. I got the feeling she was trying to emotionally distance herself from us and I wondered why.

Edward was confused and hurting more times than he was happy lately and it was beginning to irritate me. I didn't like it when someone hurt my family, but I wasn't sure what to do when it was one of my family members causing the pain.

So after reassuring my wife that everything would be okay I followed Bella to her next class with the intent of talking to her. When I asked her what had upset Alice so much, I caught a flash of guilt. So she knew what she was doing then. It made me angry when I realized her actions were deliberate.

Why was she trying to hurt us, it didn't make any sense? I felt resignation from her and narrowed my eyes at her in response, was she about to lie to me. I didn't buy her explanation about some upcoming trip, nor that she would go anywhere without Edward. I would like to see her try, Edward was likely to follow her wherever she tried to go without him.

Not that I blamed him if my mate were still human I would be right by her side constantly to just to make sure nothing messed with her. Emmett clearly did not buy her explanation either but we both had to let it go because the other students were filing into class.

When the bell sounded, Bella literally bolted from the room. We hadn't expected her to so she was able to get out of the classroom before we were able to get to the door.

I growled under my breath and several of the males surrounding me stepped aside in fear. I smirked and walked out the door only to find Alice waiting for me.

"She has a short schedule and intends to ditch out on us" said Alice

I nodded in response.

"Then go, this is too important for her to miss" I said

Alice nodded and I watched her slip through the other students then out of the building. Once she was clear of the building and out of view, she could sneak around to the next block and retrieve her car.

I spotted Edward and gave him the mental heads up. My brother simply shook his head in exasperation. We all knew how impossible it was to escape my wife, I guess Bella was going to have to learn things the hard way.

Edward pov

I was so happy today, it was my beautiful Bella's birthday. I practically skipped down the stairs this morning and because I didn't have to bother with mundane things like sleeping or eating I was out the door before the sun rose.

My Bella was less than pleased with my enthusiasm or well-wishing and did what she always did to get me to leave the room. One of these days I will have to surprise her and forget to act the gentleman, or at the very least get her to wear pajamas.

I waited on the next block until I saw her truck leave her street then silently followed it all the way to school. Since last year I refused to take any chances with my beloved's safety, something Carlisle whole heartedly supported, much to the chagrin of Rose.

Unfortunately we were not counting on Bella having an abbreviated schedule this year. It irritated me and made me anxious whenever she was away from my sight. I just longed to touch her constantly and be near... eh gads Edward get ahold of yourself, I mentally chided myself.

I pulled into the school a few minutes behind Bella because I had caught the light when it was green for her. I spotted her talking to that man and my stomach clenched in terror, which rapidly morphed to anger as the man leaned down to give my Bella a kiss on the cheek as if he were some sort of loving relative.

I angrily strode across the lot but before I could say anything to him the man was gone. I mean literally gone I looked around and could not find him anywhere not even with my gift. Confused and still a bit apprehensive I approached bella.


	6. Chapter 6

Solas 6

Edward pov

Bella's comments in English gave me pause. Did she feel the same way about us? It worried me that she might not feel the same way as I did.

I gave Alice as much time as possible to transform Bella as she put it. I knew from experience that you do not try and rush my sister. I just hoped Bella was being patient with her because Alice was so very much excited about this whole thing.

When I showed up to get Bella thankfully she was almost done, so I must have timed it perfectly. Bella was clearly nervous about this whole thing and I thought it was simply because, as she put it she did not like being celebrated.

I was however grateful for the nervousness because she allowed me to hold her hand, something she hasn't done in months. I was seriously beginning to worry that she was moving away from me or perhaps taking my warnings more seriously. I didn't want to dwell on it right now so I let it go for later introspection.

We pulled up to the house and right away I could see Alice had waited to do the final decorating. Bella looked relieved for some reason. Did she really believe we would let this day pass without celebrating it?

Alice rushed Bella upstairs to change clothes while we all went to work setting up the party at vampire speed. I listened for Alice to say they were done before we lit all the candles. The effect on the room was stunning but no more so than the woman coming down the stairs with my sister.

I sighed in contentment and Emmett ribbed me about dating an older woman. I glared at him because I was way older than Bella would ever be. The look was lost on Emmett though, as it always was.

Bella continued down to the rest of my family awaiting below. Esme greeted her warmly and stepped back into Carlisle's arms in a completely possessive gesture. She had been doing that a lot lately, ever since Bella came into our lives actually.

I frowned when I caught her thoughts. Just because Carlisle wasn't her mate did not mean the man didn't love her. Bella was right she really did have some serious self-esteem issues. I smiled at her in reassurance and moved closer to Bella. My brother Jasper was hovering near the edge of our little group and from the nature of his thoughts he was concerned about his own self-control and something Alice had seen.

I glanced in his direction and received a curt later from my inquiry. Despite not wanting to do this Bella seemed to be having a good time. She was laughing and posing for pictures and I thought for a minute that this all might work out for the best.

Then it happened, it would have to be something trivial that takes my beloved's life. I thought I had it under control with all those times she's injured herself around me. Funny how all it takes is one solitary drop of red to undo all your hard work.

I caught the shift in the directions of everyone's thoughts almost immediately and it scared me that even Carlisle's mirrored my own. Jasper's control snapped and I reacted by immediately shoving Bella out of harm's way so I could help subdue my brother.

He fought us tooth and nail, even biting Rose for trying to stop him. I ended up in my piano and watched in anguish as Jasper broke free and headed straight for her. What I didn't see at first was the thin field of energy surrounding her and neither did Jasper.

It flexed for half a second then suddenly jasper was launched backward, just like he had been shot from a cannon, out our back wall. After I got past my initial shock I turned to find Bella had maintained the barrier and was now refusing Carlisle access to her.

I moved forward to help convince her and Carlisle ordered me to leave. I hesitated for some reason fighting his commands which as he was our coven leader I should not have been able to do.

Finally I relented when Bella herself asked me to leave. With a heavy heart I went after Jasper. I had seen the distrust for me in Bella's eyes and I wondered absently when I had lost it.

I found Jasper sitting in a stream with his head in his hands, he looked to be weeping. Emmett was trying to persuade him out and Alice looked like she wanted to cry as well. She looked at me with pleading eyes and I looked away.

This was precisely what I had feared when I brought Bella into our world. I just didn't think it would be my own brother.

"I knew this would end badly" muttered Rose

I glared at her in response. I was angry but more at myself than I was Jasper.

"Is she?" said Esme

"Carlisle is stitching her up" I responded

Esme sighed and turned back towards Jasper. I knew what she was asking without her having to say the words. Jasper wouldn't come out unless I talked to him.

I sighed and attempted to convince my brother that we all understood what had happened and were not angry with him. We had him out a few hours later and Alice told me Bella was leaving, so I rushed back right after Esme had left to clean up the blood.

I found Esme staring at the door in shock, which rapidly morphed to anger when I realized what Carlisle had done. What stopped me was Esme and she redirected me towards Bella. I went to confront her and got snubbed again. I watched forlornly as she pulled away and disappeared down our driveway. I could hear Esme berating Carlisle inside and his soft tones in response. This was going to be a long night for my family.

Bella

I rolled over and almost fell off the bed. With a groan I realized I had slept in my party dress. I pulled it off and let it fall to the floor. I had just enough time for a shower, so I headed for the bathroom.

I could hear Charlie downstairs and the sound of the microwave as he cooked a breakfast burrito for himself. I quickly washed up and climbed out, padding my way to my room wrapped in a fluffy towel. Thankfully Edward hadn't shown up this morning so I was afforded a few minutes of peace.

I had been thinking all night about what I was going to tell Edward. I was going to have to break his heart, there was just no other way to save him or them. The only problem was I would be breaking mine as well.

I pulled on a pair of black jeans and one of my black hoodies, slid my feet into some back converse and headed for my bedroom door. A breakfast burrito sounded good so I microwaved one myself, while I poured myself a cup of coffee. I said my goodbyes to Charlie as I headed for the door.

Still no Edward yet so I climbed into my truck. I flipped on my new stereo as I drove shoving one of my cd's into it before pulled out of the neighborhood. I managed to get out two songs before I was pulling into the school lot.

Edwards's car was noticeably absent and so were his siblings. By my third class I realized they were most likely not coming today, which was irritating because I wanted to talk to Jasper. Not that Edward would have let me near him after last night. With a groan I left my last period and headed for home. Maybe a Cullen free day wasn't such a horrible thing.

Carlisle

We were still arguing the next day. Truth be told I was getting tired of the constant attacks on each other as well as myself. I had done nothing that I could think of to encourage Bella's affections and had rebuffed them repeatedly.

I didn't care if my so called destined mate walked into my life tomorrow, it still would not change how I felt for Esme one iota.

"You need to tell her that" said Edward

I had tried repeatedly to do so, she just refused to hear it right now.

"Tell me what, that he wants to leave me for a child an eighth of his age" said Esme

I groaned and once again we were fighting. Until Jasper's soft voice broke through the chaos.

"If you want me to, I will leave. The last thing I want is to tear apart this family" said Jasper

That silenced everyone and they all looked to me. I thought about saying yes briefly then Bella's words came back to me and it stayed my hand and made me feel guilty for even considering it.

"No, you do not abandon family when they need you the most" I said

Alice sighed in relief she had wrapped her arms around Jasper and rested her head on his shoulder in a show of solidarity. I knew if I had asked him to leave we also would have lost Alice. Edward was giving me an appraising look.

"Just what did she say to you?' said Edward

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose

"Just that she forgave him and to have patience" I said

"She believes in him?" said Alice

I nodded because that is what it felt like to me. Jasper looked at his feet and we could all feel the shame wafting out of him.

"I also got the impression that she for some reason expected this" I said

That shocked the room into silence.

"You don't think she's gifted do you?" said Alice

I shook my head no at least not in the way we were.

"We all saw what she did at the ballet studio, and we have yet to find out what she is exactly" said Edward

"Yeah she was bad ass" said Emmett

"I got that impression as well plus she kept looking out the back door as if she were expecting something to show up" said Rose

"She did say this was the only one of her birthdays that ended in only being her blood shed" said Esme

Everyone gave her a horrified look including myself.

"Damn that's harsh no wonder she didn't like to celebrate her birthday" said Emmett

A glance at the clock confirmed we had argued for the better part of the day, even so I still called them in sick to school and on reflex I called myself in sick as well. I had every intention of showing my wife just how she made me feel.

Bella

The next day was bright and sunny, okay not. It was a typical rainy day in forks. I still did not breathe easy until I saw them pull into the lot. They seemed subdued somehow and jasper held back until Edward ushered me inside. I sincerely hoped he didn't plan to avoid me for the rest of the week.

Edward leaned down to kiss me and I stepped away before he could complete the action. He sighed and said "we need to talk"

I wanted to groan out loud certain he was going to insist I avoid Jasper for a while. Sorry dude no can do, me and the cowboy need to have a little chit chat.

"Fine after school" I said

He nodded and we walked to my first class. The Cullen's stayed close to me for the rest of the day, even Rose seemed more attentive which meant I may be able to enlist her help. I sat down right next to her and she gave me a perplexed look.

"Rose, can we talk?" I said

The blond frowned at me but still nodded yes. I took a deep breath hopefully she was still opposed to me and Edward being together.

"This isn't working out" I said

I was hoping to see where her loyalties still laid. She nodded yes.

"I had doubts that it would" said Rose

"I want to break it off with him but…"I said

"You're afraid of how he will take it" said Rose

I nodded yes and she sighed

"Badly if you ask me, he has gotten quite attached" said Rose

I mentally groaned because that means he could react violently as well.

"I understand" I said

The bell rang and I started to climb to my feet, she grabbed my arm before I could do so.

"Just be careful Bella" said Rose

She released my arm then climbed to her seat as well. I left the room and walked into my next class. Jasper was sitting in the back corner well away from where I normally sat. Emmett was right next to him so I made my way towards them. Emmet saw me coming and smirked, Jasper tried to sink away from me.

"Hey Jasper, Emmett" I said

Emmett shook his head as if he didn't believe I had the courage to do this.

"Hey baby Bella" said Emmett

I frowned at him

"Since when am I a mushroom" I said

He laughed in response and I saw Jasper visibly relax.

"Bella I'm so sorry I…"said Jasper

I waved off the rest of that sentence. I knew he was sorry he didn't need to say it more than once. He gave me a confused look.

"Jasper its okay I'm not mad" I said

He smiled at me and for the first time I noticed just how dazzling he was.

"Thank you Bella that means a…great deal to me" said Jasper

I knew he meant it and I was grateful I could assuage his guilt before I did what I had to do. The bell rang and I headed for the art classroom. I had been playing with several paths all day just to confuse Alice's gift but in the end I knew what I was going to do.

Instead I let her see the decision to forgive Jasper for the party which she obviously believed because she was her usual chipper self. I went to lunch with her all the while I was mentally saying my goodbyes. After lunch I went to my last class and then home to mentally prepare for what I was about to do. I had no illusions, this was going to be the hardest conversation I had ever had.

A few hours later a small pebble hit my window and I went downstairs to talk to Edward. He started to say something to me so I redirected.

"Not here" I said

I led him out into the backyard and back beyond where I spoke to Monticello that one time. I wanted him well away from prying eyes and ears, just in case he got violent.

I was already partially raising a shield and pulling energy for a leven bolt should he do anything stupid. I stopped when I felt we were far enough away.

"Okay so what did you want to talk to me about?" I said

"Bella we're leaving" said Edward

"Carlisle is already posing as someone ten years older and people are going to start noticing" said Edward

I felt he was trying to justify what he was trying to do and my first instinct was to find a way to follow them. Then I remembered what I had planned to do and my resolve hardened.

"Yeah it is probably best if you guys start pulling up roots at least for another decade or so" I said

Edward frowned because obviously he had been expecting some sort of protest.

"Bella I..."said Edward

"I get it Edward, you don't have to say it we both knew this wasn't going to work out anyways"I said

He frowned at me.

"You're not expecting to come with us?" said Edward

I sighed

"no, honestly I'm tired of trying to be something I'm not, I get the feeling you expect me to be something else, and what I am, and what you expect, just aren't compatible" I said

Edward gave me a sad look as if he had hoped for a different reaction from me.

"Are you sure because Carlisle…"said Edward

"No Edward, I'm sorry. look I've been searching for a way to end this for a long time now, so I'm going to make up an excuse to Charlie about visiting my mother, I expect to see you've left by then because truthfully I never want to see any of you again" I said

Edward stared at me in open mouthed shock. "Goodbye Edward" I said

I turned to walk back to the house.

"You ...never… want to…what happened to forever Bella? I thought you wanted me to change you so we could be together forever" said Edward

He sounded slightly angry.

"I never said that, I just let you think it, because it was convenient, yes I wanted you to change me, but it wasn't because I wanted to spend forever with you, sorry to burst your bubble hon but I'm just not that into you" I said

Edward glared at me and I swear I heard him growl.

"You were using me?" said Edward

I decided it was time to be a bit cruel, if it helped him to let go, then I didn't mind if he hated me. I snorted in response

"You, them, anyone who will give me what I want, why make it sound so sordid it's not like you didn't get anything out of it" I said

He stood there staring at me as if I had grown two heads. I started walking back toward the house all the while expecting him to attack me. He softly called my name and I stopped.

"Why?" said Edward

He sounded hurt and I immediately felt guilty for what I was about to do. I turned towards him

"Look Edward you just aren't good for me, you don't belong in my world and I don't belong in yours" I said

He looked stricken now, as if he just realized he was losing me.

"Bella what happened with Jasper was nothing, you said yourself it could have been worse" said Edward

Here was where the glamour was kicking in I could almost see the direction of his thoughts.

"We could make up a reason for you to follow us or Carlisle could just change you and we can fake your death, he already has the paperwork...you don't have to..." said Edward

I cut him off before I could give in to his pleading tones. "Edward stop, this is over I'm breaking up with you, as a perpetual teenager you should know how common this is. You'll move on and soon you will realize just how stupid this whole thing was" I said

He looked at me as if I was tearing his heart out slowly with a spoon. I turned away from him and started back to the house. Each step away from him made my heart ache but it was for the best.


	7. Chapter 7

Solas 7

I kept walking hoping I was wrong and he wouldn't attack me because I truly didn't want to hurt him, well any more than I already have that is. I heard a whoosh and turned, Edward had fled. I guess he was a coward after all.

I walked back to the house with each step an ache formed in the vicinity of my heart. I knew it would only get worse until they were completely gone from my life, until then the glamour tied me to them just as surely as it tied them to me.

I walked in the backdoor and was about to head for my room when the phone rang. I waited until the caller id displayed and when it said the police station I answered the phone

"yeah dad" I said

"Hey Bella, didn't think you'd be home, anyway I'm...kind of not going to be home for dinner" said Charlie

"Why?" I said

Impatiently tapping my foot and wondering why my dad sounded nervous.

"I kind of asked Sue out and she said yes so were trying out that new seafood place in Port Angeles" said Charlie

I smirked my dad had a date how cute plus it would keep him out of the way should the shit hit the fan.

"Oh...that's great ... I hope you have fun" I said

"Thanks bells, have a goodnight sweetheart" said Charlie and he hung up the phone.

So I guess I was going to be alone for the night. I sighed and headed for the stairs to my room. If Charlie had fun tonight I would spring my little side trip to visit mom and Phil on him, then change my ticket for Houston either at my first layover or when I landed.

I would meet my forces on the outskirts of town and I would finally be rid of that bitch that sold out Ethan and cassie, plus it would show Monticello I had learned what he had been trying to teach me, as a side benefit it would keep Victoria from going to Maria for help and thus prevent that vision from coming to pass.

Edward

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Bella was using me for my immortality. I thought we had something, could I have been so wrong about her?

Did she sense I had been about to do the same to her and simply beat me to it. Alice had been so sure that we were meant to be together and I was sure that she was the answer to all those lonely nights. The endless stream of lovers who only wanted me for my looks, was Bella like them?

I thought not but I had been wrong before, how could I have been so wrong again? When Carlisle told us that it was getting close to when we should start looking to move, at first I despaired, thinking that Bella would never agree to leave her father behind. Carlisle had reassured me that if I approached it correctly Bella would go with us but we would have to spirit her away out from under the nose of the pack.

That black kid was becoming entirely too enthralled with my Bella. She was part of my family, eventually she would be fully mine just as Alice had envisioned. Though I wanted nothing to still her beating human heart I knew it was only a matter of time before it must be done or else we risked the volturi's wrath.

I was however not prepared for her refusal nor the words that cut me to the quick. I felt emotionally gutted as if she had taken a spoon and carved out my heart. I turned and fled because I didn't want her to see the tears she had brought to my eyes. I was blinded by my venom as I ran and my heart ached with every step I took away from her.

I got halfway to the house, before I collapsed in the other end of the small stream, Jasper had landed in only a few days ago. I collapsed to my knees as wracking sobs shook my frame and I gasped for breath like a landed fish. I heard the wolves approach but couldn't seem to bring up the urge to care.

They thought me pathetic and wanted to just kill me. I silently agreed with them as I laid there curled in a fetal position and wishing for death.

I was pathetic and Bella played me like a violin. She knew just what strings to rub to make me sing for her and when she was done she put me away like an instrument with broken strings.

"Just do it already" I hissed to the nearest one.

He hesitated and looked to his pack mates as if to say, should I do this? They must have heard my family coming because they turned and walked away from me. Damn mutts didn't even have the decency to give me mercy.

"oh Edward, what happened?" said Carlisle

The concern in his tone brought forth another wave of sobs and I felt him pull me into his arms and hold me tight. I let lose my tears and cried for all I was worth into his shoulder like a heartbroken child.

He stood up and carried me back to the house. I didn't even care that Emmett would rib me for the next decade for this. I loved Carlisle like the father I never had and he in turn understood me like no other.

As his first companion I could never really fully comprehend how lonely Carlisle had been before me but I knew that he had tried for many years to make a companion that would share his ideals enough to stay with him.

Aro likened his search to the search for one's mate and perhaps that was what he was really trying to find. Unfortunately for Carlisle his first creations stayed with others like the volturi or became human drinking nomads but he never stopped trying. First myself then Esme, who he hoped was his mate, but only turned out to be the love of his life. Then Rosalie, who he wanted for me originally but she was too horrified by what he had done to her that she almost had left us altogether. Only when she found Emmett and brought him back to Carlisle did she consent to stay, but she extracted a promise from him as well, she would only stay if he changed Emmett or say anything when she went after her would be murderers.

Which of course he did because he did not want to lose her as well. A few decades later we met Alice and Jasper and the rest was just history.

I didn't even know we had entered the house. I was so lost in the agony that I didn't hear their voices mental or otherwise. Numbly I recounted what happened when I was able to regain some semblance of control after Esme had asked.

I heard some of my family growl and looked up in surprise when I found it had come from Esme's direction. I expected a flurry of activity or accusations from my family, what greeted me was silence. I sniffled and looked up at them. I felt like a child in Carlisle's arms so I slowly sat up.

Everyone looked shocked by what Bella had said. Then almost as one they started expressing their outrage. Bella was supposed to be one of us and every one of them felt betrayed by this revelation. We loved her, I loved her how could she do this to us, to me. Everyone turned to Carlisle because he was our leader and right now no one had any idea what to do. Vampires as a species did not relish or adapt to change easily, I didn't know how my family would survive this. Carlisle slowly stood up and smoothed down his shirt, a purely human gesture that he had acquired over the centuries as a nervous habit.

"I believe we should heed miss swan's wishes at least in part, Alice can you look ahead for us and tell us what her plans are?" said Carlisle

Alice closed her eyes and lost herself in her gift for a few seconds. I never liked to read Alice when she did this because the images often moved so fast that even with vampire speed it made me dizzy just trying to follow it. She came out of it in a few seconds. She looked sad which means the vision wasn't a good one.

"we should definitely leave but also we should keep an eye on her as well" said Alice

"Why what would happen if we stayed?" said Esme

Alice looked at the floor and then at me. I caught the thought before she attempted to hide it.

"I would never do that, I don't care what she says to me I will not do that" I said

I was angry and vehemently denied what Alice was seeing. There was no way I would kill Bella I loved her too much to do that. I loved her but she didn't love me back.

Jasper asked her what she saw and Alice whispered it to him but the others heard most of it. Carlisle sighed and rubbed his hand down his face.

"What if I spoke to her?" said Carlisle

Esme gave him a worried glance and I wondered at that, was she still jealous of Bella.

"one thing is certain she knows about us and we can't leave her with that knowledge" said Rose

She sounded sad about that fact and I knew she blamed me for even introducing Bella into our world.

"I agree, we most certainly cannot, if the volturi got wind of this…"said Esme

She looked at Carlisle and he nodded as if coming to a decision.

"Okay this is what we are going to do, we will pack up our things and temporarily move to our house in Ithaca. While we are gone Rose you and Emmett will be searching for any sign of Victoria. You can go ahead and use Emmett's last name for a while but I need you two to avoid Forks if you can, Edward I need you to go to Alaska for a while with Alice, while you are there keep an eye on Laurent. Jasper when Bella leaves I want you to follow her at a distance and keep tabs on her without knowing you are there, feel free to enlist your friends Peter and Charlotte if you need help. Esme…"said Carlisle

"Do what you have to do to get our daughter back" said Esme Carlisle swallowed and looked at his feet. He was blocking his thoughts from me and it was making me nervous.

"Carlisle?" I questioned.

Bella

Truth be told I expected either Carlisle or Alice to show up, maybe even Esme. Both of Edward's, parents if you will, had been pushing us towards each other since we had met. I will admit Edward was attractive physically, but his personality was sadly lacking.

Hot looks and insane amounts of money might do it for the other girls but I had seen hotter and money was something I had in spades in the realms. Hell I could pawn one candelabra from my house and be set better than a lottery winner. So what was it that they really saw in Edward, what was it that I saw for that matter?


End file.
